I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Randomize