yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
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