If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Randomize
