You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
