I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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