Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
