can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Randomize
