i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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