the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
