a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Is that strawberry winking at me??
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
