I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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