Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
