There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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