It's like a parade of train wrecks.
honey bunches of taint.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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