I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Life is so much better after having sex.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
