don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Less talking, more tequila
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
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