it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
