another moral hangover. fuck.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
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