could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
there is glitter all over my balls
Randomize
