420 ftw
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
