apparently the secret to your success is patron
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Randomize
