Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
