3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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