none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Randomize