if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
