now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
We just shotgunned beers for America
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
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