I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
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