fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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