id be glad to
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Randomize
