quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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