so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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