what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
