AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
