you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Randomize
