Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
