so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
