just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
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