Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Randomize
