VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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