If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
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