are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
