i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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