I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
My life is pants optional.
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