So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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