I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize