Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Randomize
