just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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