Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Randomize
