garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Randomize
