we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
