the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
