hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
