Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Randomize
