So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Randomize
