Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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