Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
