Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize