What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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