I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
