brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
someone threw a dead crab at me
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
