Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
